A Courtroom Scene

Killer Standup

Scene: A courtroom where a witness is testifying in a case involving a man biting off the ear of another man during a fight. After supplying testimony which was very bad for the defendant, the witness was being cross examined by the defendant's attorney.

Attorney: You said that you saw the defendant and the claimant in a fight?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You then said that you were concerned for your safety and that, because of it, you went to hide behind the bushes ?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You further stated that during this time in hiding, you turned your back to the scene?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And THEN you testified that that was when the defendant bit off the claimant's ear??!!

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: Okay so if your back was turned to the fight then you obviously MUST have had the claimant and the defendant out of your field of vision, correct?

Witness: Yes, correct.

Attorney: Well then, did you SEE the defendant bite off the claimant's ear?

Witness: No.

Attorney: (Smugly) THEN HOW DO YOU "KNOW" THAT THE DEFENDANT BIT OFF THE EAR OF THE CLAIMANT IF YOU DID NOT SEE HIM DO IT??!!

Witness: I saw him spit it out.

(Dead Silence)

Attorney: No more questions.

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