The Funniest College Acceptance Letter
Getting accepted at your favorite college is one of the greatest moments of a young person?s life ? unless you?ve received this acceptance letter, which was clearly the result of a computer glitch.
(As reported in the New York Times, 3.21.99)
To the parent or guardian of Truman Bradley
Dear Parent or Guardian
Congratulations on 987-45-4321?s admission to Arizona State University! We commend you for the significant role that you have played in helping him to prepare for this exciting and critically important time. A.S.U. is committed to providing an outstanding collegiate experience, and we are pleased that he has chosen to take advantage of this tremendous opportunity. We are fully prepared to assist 987-65-4321 in making a successful transition from high school to college. We also recognize that even though your relationship with 987-65-4321 may change in the next four years, the importance of that relationship will not diminish. At Arizona State University, we value your continued participation in his academic, social and personal development and actively seek your support in that endeavor. Whether through involvement in the A.S.U. Parents Association, attendance at numerous events for A.S.U. parents, or the occasional visit to campus, you will be a partner with the university in encouraging 987-65-4321 to succeed. We look forward to seeing you at an orientation program and during A.S.U. Welcome Week prior to the start of the fall semester. Information about these programs has been mailed to 987-65-4321. Many of the activities during both events are designed specifically for you. In the meantime, contact the A.S.U. Parent Program office? if you have any questions or concerns.
President, A.S.U. Parents Association
Assistant Director, Parent Programs
The letter that the father wrote back is a real kicker!
Thank you for offering our son, 987-65-4321, or as we affectionately refer to him around the house - 987 - a position in the A.S.U. class of 2003. His mother, 123-45-6MOM and I are very happy that such a prestigious institution of higher education such as A.S.U. has extended this offer.
In selecting a college for 987, we are looking for a place that will prepare him for the technological challenges of the 21st century. We seek a college in which he can learn to master computers and learn to communicate with clarity and sensitivity. I can only imagine the competence with which you will, as your letter puts so well, "assist 987-65-4321 in making a successful transition from high school to college."
We will miss 987 when he goes off to school, and are very interested in a college in which he will receive personal attention. I was particularly touched by your sentence in which you note that our "relationship with 987-65-4321 may change in the next few years." This is certainly true. Already we are beginning to focus as well on his brother, 123-45-6BRO.
I look forward to additional communications from your office. You manage to convey more in your letters than any other college we have seen thus far.
A.k.a. Jeff Bradley